Interview with a phille fan

Today I’ve decided to do what other bloggers here have done and also interview someone. Today I’ll be interviewing philly fans. As I stood in front of Carter Batting Practice stadium, I stopped a few passersby on their views on this year’s philly team.
First up is Tom (not his real name, he can’t remember his real name). He puts down his sign, sponge and squeegee (and accepts my $1 “donation); I asked what he thought of Phillies chances this year.

UL: “So, um, Tom. How do you think the Phillies will do this year?”
Tom: “Who?”
UL: "Never mind, here’s another your dollar for some soap.”

Next up is Gloria.
UL: “And what do you think of the phillies chances this year?”
Gloria: “Well with the right training, hard work and determination, they should be able to ward off the stallions.”
UL: “What?”
Gloria: “You know, the stallions that’ll be chasing the fillies around the pastures.”
UL: “I was talking about the philles baseball team.”
Gloria: “Oh, I’m sorry…who?”
UL: “Thank you Gloria”

Next was Herb. He had on his philly hat, a glove, sports bag and a big “We’re number 1!” foam hand thingee.
UL: “So herb, you look like a real phille fan. What do you think of your teams’ chances this year?”
Herb: “WOW!! YEAH!! I’M READY!! THIS IS THE YEAR!! ALL THE WAY BABY!! YEAH!! CAN’T WAIT FOR THE CELEBRATION!!
UL: “What celebration, Herb?”
Herb: “YOU KNOW!! WHERE WE RUN THE STREETS AND RIOT AFTER A WIN!! (He removes foam hand and shows his brass knuckles. He then opens up his sport bag and shows his bat with nails, lighters and beer.) I’M READY BABY!! IT’S HEAD BASHING TIME!! WOOOOO!!”
UL: "I was asking about the phillies baseball team."
Herb: "YEAH BABY!! ALL THE WAY!! WOOOOO!! SMASH AND BASH!!...Who?"
UL: (I slowly back away.)

Last but not least was this little sweetheart by the name of Lucy. Lucy is 7 years old. She was walking with her parents and I noticed she has a philly t-shirt on.
UL: “Hi Lucy. What lovely pink bows you have in your hair. So, how do you think the philles will do this year?”
Lucy: “Um, hee hee, um, I think they’ll win this year.”
UL: “That’s nice. And who is your favorite player?”
Lucy: “Um, hee hee, um, I think Chase Utley is cute. (Hides behind her mom.) So what’s your favorite team, mister?”
UL: “Well, I’m a METS FAN.”
Lucy: “WHAT?!?! YOU M____________F________ C_________ S__________ SONUVA____________!!!! I HOPE YOUR MOTHER ______________________________ AND __________________________________________________________________________!!”


I then jumped in my car a drove the hell out of phillie. But first I stopped at Leo’s Steak House for a cheesesteak sandwich and a dump.