I hate traffic court...

...but not as much as I hate the philthies.
This late morning edition is brought to you by my having to go to court over a traffic ticket. What a waste of time. Since I plead "not guilty" (and of course I'm not) now I have to go back next month to have the actual case heard in court. No wonder the country is so far in debt. You're paying everyone in the government twice as much to do something that could have been handled one time.
But anyway, back to the reason for todays rant.
I can see the beads of sweat on the foreheads (and those are BIG foreheads) on you philthie fans. First, The Mets have this Carter dude who is hitting the ball like you guys hit each other during riots: hard and constantly. Now word is that Reyes is just fine and will terrorize the opposing pitchers like he did a couple years ago. And this guy hasn't even peaked yet. (More beads of sweat are appearing). On your side, lidge "hopes" see live batters soon. He might have a better chance if he plays 2K10. maybe that way he could last a whole season. blanton hopes not to give up 20 runs this time. With ibañez, victorino, werth and rollins hitting a combined .145 now, you should have nothing to worry about. (Profuse sweating by now).
As I stated last week, you can go ahead and look forward to a quiet summer on your side since The Mets will dominate this year. April 30th will be the day The Mets go into Carter Batting Practice mini-park and remind you that WE own you, we just let you "win" because, well, you needed a reason to riot after all those 10,000 losses.
I'm just going to make this a short one. I need to clean out the crap in the bird cage and re-line the bottom of the cage with the philly inquirer. The birds crap like crazy when that paper is in there. So be good to each other (yeah, right) and remember: "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people"...and they all live in philthiedelphia.