Snow Day

While most of the northeast is getting another ton of snow, we are about 6 days from pitchers and catchers. The way things are looking in the south, they might as well stay up north as another day of freezing temperatures hits Florida and more is expected next week. The only thing the south doesn’t get is the snow you’re getting. I was just reading where schools are closed in philthie today. I’m glad for that since the kids will be one day less dumb, since philthie’s school system is ranked behind the school system in Siberia. (BTW, there are no schools in Siberia).
I was just reading about this new study that claims the CBP (Carter Batting Practice) Park is not that much of a hitter friendly park as some people claim. (Sorry, the book has no crayon colored pictures for you to follow along). It doesn’t really matter anyway since while the Yankmees play in a toilet bowl, the philthies play in an outhouse. CITIFIELD has decided to lower its centerfield wall a few feet. No big deal since it still remains a real ballpark where only certified Major League players can hit home runs. Any little leaguer can hit in Carter Batting Practice park and Yankmee stadium.
And speaking of NEW YORK, I didn’t realize something else philthie has that came from NEW YORK: the philthie phanatic. That’s right, ladies and germs; the philthie phanatic is a NEW YORK creation. Look it up, you’ll find lots of pictures.
Well, it has been fun making fun of your team and your city. Don’t forget to come back next week. I’ll try smaller words next time; I wouldn’t want any of you to hurt yourselves trying to read this without pictures. So after being inspired to write about philthie, it’s time to take a dump. Thank you philly!

Ultimate Lou